“Navigating the Holidays” Series- Part 4: When the Holidays Don’t Feel the Same

For many of us, the holidays are the “best” time of year.  We love the hustle and bustle of the season, buying gifts, going to parties, spending time with friends and family.

But what about when something happens in life and the Holidays just don’t feel the same as they once did?  Sometimes we experience losses such as relationships with friends, family, deaths, loss of job, financial stress, mental health challenges.  Managing loss during the holidays can be incredibly painful.  .  Financial stress may cause pressure, shame and heaviness and may make the holidays more stressful. 

When these things happen that change how we experience the holidays, it’s important that we have strategies to take care of ourselves.

Here’s what that might look like!

Make room for your feelings.

Give yourself permission to feel without judgment.

You don’t need to be festive.

Talk kindly to yourself.

Give yourself grace.

Decide what traditions to keep, if any, what to let go of, and what to modify.

Keep what feels supportive.

Pause what feels painful.

Create new rituals and traditions, if helpful.

Set boundaries around people, activities and expectations.

Say no to things if you need to. 

Leave early.

Set a clear budget.

Prioritize essentials first.

Decide how many events, gifts and outings fit within your limits.

Offer presence instead of presents.

Be open and honest when you can.

Connect with support.

Express feelings and needs.

Create moments of comfort.

Candles, warm blankets, comfort food

A walk or spending time outdoors

Journaling or prayer

Music that soothes

Gentle movement or breathing exercise

Find joy in less expensive forms of celebration.

Watch a holiday movie with blankets and warm drinks

Walk or drive to see holiday lights